What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Is it true that schizophrenia can sometimes be a demonic attack or black magic?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Have you been with a stranger yet?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why do I get spun and then want big fat cocks to suck?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

What can I say to a scammer who thinks he loves me, but I don't want to be scammed?

What do you mean son?